Recovery
by Vowen17
Summary: The road to recovery is often a hard one. But luckily for Peeta and Katniss, it wasn't one they had to travel alone. Or is it? When they decide to continue with Peeta's treatment, they are forced to visit places and people their memories had tried to bury. This could make or break them both, but the end justifies the means. Katniss/Peeta. May change to M for later scenes.


Recovery, Chapter 1

I found my hand lazily scratching at Buttercup's ear, who was dosing in the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window, reluctant to start the day. It had been six months since we had started our truce… six whole months since I had come back to District Twelve. Six months and I still couldn't shake the ashes of war from my hair.

It didn't feel real; I still expected to find a camera lurking in the piles of fresh laundry, or among the neatly pruned primrose bushes. Six months had passed, and I was still living in my own, personal arena. Greasy Sae no longer had to force feed me to survive, but I was not yet living. I still took nightly forays into the book; the only thing keeping my grip on reality.

That and Peeta, who was late. I sat drumming the fingers of my unoccupied hand on the solid wood of the table, waiting for him to collect me. We were only going to town (to assist with the clean-up efforts) but he always insisted on walking in together. I couldn't blame him though, for the first few weeks I couldn't make the journey through the wasteland of my district I broke down, stopping every few metres to get my breath back. I'm far better now, but I think the clean-up has a lot to do with that. Twelve is barely recognisable.

My door lock clunked and my hand flew up to my imaginary quiver.  
"Only me!"

Every fibre of my being relaxed at his voice. He closed the door behind him and made his way to the kitchen. His thick blonde curls were swept over his forehead, his blue eyes alive with passion for life; a passion which I was still working on finding. It always felt to me, whenever I saw him, that he was my own, personal guardian angel. He always came to save me from the terror that still visited.

"Morning Kitty."  
"You're late."  
"I know, sorry about that. I wanted to take some buns in for the troops," he raised the hemp bag in his hand to emphasis the point, "but the bloody things wouldn't rise."  
His face flushed with the shadow of annoyance. And there he goes again, being just to dam nice to be angry at.  
"It's alright, I forgive you," I looked over my shoulder at him, "just this once mind," I said, turning my back to him to put on my coat. I felt his rough hands on my waist. Labourer's hands.  
"Oh, you will, will you? Why Madame, I am flattered by your graciousness."

I turned to him, our smiling lips met as we drank in the moment. We had both learnt the harsh lesson to cherish these moments and their purity; you never knew when they could be snatched away.

"You ready then?" He asked, without conviction.  
"Yes, let me grab my bow."

It was another few moments before either of us made any attempt to move. I broke first, moving to sling my quiver over my shoulder and grab my bow. Peeta opened the door for me, and we both stepped into the fresh air together.

I felt his warm hand slip into mine as we began to tread the familiar path from the Victor's village to town. We would pass through the areas near the seam that were being converted into agricultural lands, which would be where I'd loose Peeta for the day. It was him who broke our comfortable silence.

"I have good news. This morning, I didn't wake up wanting to kill you. Actually I… I missed you."

A smile burst across my face. I'd been desperate for this; a signal that Snow's torture was losing its grip on my Peeta, a sign that I could sleep next to my saviour at night. I needed him to chase away to the screams. But he forbade it. "In case I can't control it," he had said. Were it not for Peeta's conscience I'd take the risk.

"Always good to hear your boyfriend doesn't want to kill you. And misses you at night…"  
I knew he knew what I was about to say. I could taste his denial forming in the air, but I continued anyway.

"Maybe-"  
"No."  
"But-"  
"No. No Katniss," he said. He has kept the same tone, but he could not conceal the darkening behind his eyes. "It's too risky. One night does not mean the all clear."

At this point I knew it was futile, but I carried on. I needed to voice my side, again.

"I don't care! I want you next to me."  
"Well I do care," his walking pace slowed, "If I- if I- did something to you, I couldn't- Katniss, I couldn't live … with myself."

The beat was just that little too long for my liking. What does he mean, he couldn't live? Did he mean exactly what I thought he meant? Surely not? I was spared the full weight of his statement by my stomach growling.

"Kitty, did you skip breakfast again? I told you, you have to eat, or you're going to make yourself ill again."

He lifted the bag towards me and shook it in front of me. I was used to not eating, but to avoid an argument I took a smallish one and took a bite. Rich onion flavour danced across my tongue and my stomach twanged in anticipation. Peeta: the boy with amazing buns.

He smiled as I devoured it in about ten seconds flat. He offered me the bag again but I refused, ignoring the disappointed pang from my gut. Food was no longer in short supply (thanks to the post war co-operation between the districts) but it wasn't bursting out of every pantry either. And the men out working on turning the bomb site into a farm deserved it more than me. Peeta knew my view so didn't argue with me, despite his unhappiness. Once again, I couldn't blame him. I had to be force-fed for quite some time just to survive. If it were the other way around and he skipped meals I'd be nervous.

Our feet propelled us forward, individual musings keeping us quiet. It was only when we got to the fields that we spoke.

"So, I'll see you later," he said, turning towards me, "if you'll be alright from here?" I only had to travel to the fence five minutes away today, so I smiled a 'I'll be fine' smile at him.  
"Ok then, I'll stay here until you back. We can walk back to mine for food then, yeah?"  
"Sure."  
"Alright, best get going. I love you." The words still sent a shiver across my skin.  
"I love you too," I smiled, "Real."

He grinned at me before placing a gentle kiss on my lips. Cat calls drifted over from the men already assembled on the field, causing a slight pink to rise from my neck. He said his goodbyes and ran across the mud to the other men. I gripped my bow a little tighter and continued down my path.

* * *

Hey guys! Thank you for reading! I warn, updates will be slow, as I have such a lot going on right now. But they will come, as I have the entire story mapped out, and I love it. I really want to write it, so it will be written. Of course, the more people I have reading, the more I will feel guilted into writing, so the quicker I will update (I know, I'm shameless. :P)

Please comment! I love constructive criticism. Of course, I love praise too, but either is good lmao.

Vowie xx


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